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From California to Upstate NY (Finding self part 3)

      Hey all I just want to say thank you for following me on this unorthodox life journey. It is said that there is a certain way one is supposed to live their life. The life map that society gives out is predominately this; Graduate from high school, go to college, get a "good" career, meet the person of your dreams, get married have children, become a grand parent & live ever after. Some people follow this map & it possibly works for them. What about the rest of us? The ones that were dealt a wild hand that enabled them to have the focus & discipline needed to succeed in the way society would have them too. Me & a lot of others fall into this category & it makes things that are considered "simple/normal" very challenging & that's my 2 cents.


    Now how do I explain this journey. First let's briefly discuss how this event even came about.  One of my children has been going through some rough times this year & needed a momma visit. I went from Los Angeles to UpState NY to some damn place called Croton Harmon NY. I had been there before, matter fact it was last year. My Husband & I drove there from California. This time I came alone, it was a wild trip. I felt like the mom from the movie Home Alone! Now you know I decided to go the cheapest way possible. Comedian Ryan Dalton said it best, he said flying SPIRIT airlines is one steps above shipping yourself somewhere in a box! https://festivities.be/vO7hs6yQIjk?si=wWeZUt-KRbOI3ABA so that's exactly what I did, shipped myself in a box to Philadelphia & paid for the damn duct tape. From there I went to 30th St. Station & took the train to Trenton NJ then hopped on the next train to New York City. Madison Square Garden is where I ended up. I walked outside & remembered where I was NEW YORK CITY the place where the traffic light will say walk & the drivers will still mow ya down! Then I took the train from Moynihan train station to my final stop. 

        I was extremely nervous my two children were there meeting each other for the first time at the ages 22 & 18. I birthed them both, why are they meeting for the first time I wonder? There is a third that one is 19 haven't seen her since she was three. That's is a book being written as we speak. All in All we had a great time. Bestie/Sista Kisha & her son came. The father of my children came bringing our daughter & this was him spending time with her for the first time. By the time they met up with me this man was so excited. He's like OMG Jodie she's us, she me & you! It took everything in me not to say DUH...  Now that I think about it maybe that is what I said. Given the trauma of how this whole situation came about I would say I did well in the area of self forgiveness; to be able to even be apart of the festivities joyfully. I did well with the forgiveness of others; because for their father to be there & me not figuring out how to start an argument every 5 mins & actually having a pleasant time was BIG GROWTH! 

    In the next post we'll talk about how I ended up resigning from the case manager position & about how I have 3 months left in this program & I'm not sure what my next step is going to be for many reasons. We'll talk. I will say this though dealing with BI-Polar & PTSD is a B#^ch. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


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