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90 Day Go Hard (THE REFLECTION) The Conclusion ( LA Story)

     As I sit here & think about week 11 & 12, I'm trying 2 figure out why I freaked out the way I did. Do I really need the mental health meds, if I'm going to be living like a vagabond or is it dumb shit that makes me crazy? Sometimes things get to be too much. We ended up leaving Hubby's friends house & moving into a hotel in DTLA. 

    It was & has been impossible to save for a security deposit simply because his friend wanted us to pay $1,200 per month for his less than livable garage, I wasn't about to do that and moving from hotels to airbnb's weren't helping to save money either. In the end I think I panicked because I haven't been unsure of where I was going to sleep in over 5 years at that point. It was a scary feeling & to know that neither one of us had any funds or anyone we could call, plus I had to work and I got off at 10:30 at night & not knowing where I was going in my head was terrifying. 

    I mentally folded & ended up spending 8 days in Southern California Hospital on the Psych ward. I'll talk about that experience in another post. Living day to day & not knowing where you're going to sleep & not having any money or support is a terrible feeling. I couldn't do one day of it without being in a complete anxiety stricken panic, I couldn't even go to work! 

My heart goes out to people in that predicament & I hope they find the resources to help change their lives. 

I used to make scrap books to keep up with my life, because I didn't want 2 forget anything lol imagine that! 

-Photo by, Jodie Spartz



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